A Spectacular Failure

This Tuesday was our ward’s Annual Relief Society Birthday Celebration Dinner.  I signed up to bring a cake.  They use the cakes as centerpieces and it is a lovely event.  I wanted to make something special.  I didn’t want to bring just any cake.  I wanted to bring a absolutely, amazing, knock your socks off type of dessert.  I decided that I would make Red Velvet Chocolate Dipped Cake Pops that I saw on Bakerella’s blog.  I combined two of her recipe’s – Red Velvet cake balls and cake pops.  Then the plan was to put them in lovely glass vases with clear stones – a beautiful centerpiece, if I do say so myself.

Here is what actually happened.

None of these events have been altered.

No names have been changed to protect the innocent.  (I’m innocent, I swear!)

Start with cake mix.  It is a little know fact, but Red Velvet cake is my favorite!

“The cake pot was made out of Red Velvet”

“Blood Red.”

“People are going to be hacking into it.  Poor animal is going to look like it’s bleeding!”

(Name that movie!  It is a little known fact, but that is one of my favorite movies and I can practically quote the whole thing.)

Anyways . . . . .

Bake cake according to directions and let cool.  Then, once cool break apart cake and crumble in a bowl.  (Sorry this picture is icky.  I have another, but the cake really does look blood red in it.  So I chose this one.  Don’t want anyone throwing up now.)

At this point, I thought, “Gosh.  This cake really is moist.”  That should have been my first warning.

Next, you get some frosting.  With Red Velvet, of course, I used cream cheese.

You dump it into your cake crumbles.  I didn’t use the whole thing because the cake really was moist.  Second warning.

Then you mix it all together.  Bakerella suggested that you mix it by hand.  Ummm . . . I couldn’t handle this, but once you start, you have to finish.  Oh, and red velvet stains – did you know this?  I didn’t, but boy I do now!

Then you measure out a spoonful.  I’m so glad I had this scooper.  I was way over touching the cake mixture by this point.

Now, it was really, really moist and sticky (third warning).  Bakerella said I could chill the dough for a few hours – so I scooped it out on waxed paper and . . .

. . .  put them in the fridge to cool, set up, and generally do their thing.

While that is taking place, I got all my other supplies together.  Lollipop sticks – a bit longer than the standard.

Pink candy melts.  I’ve never seen these or heard of them before.  Hmmmm . . . .

Almond Bark – which doesn’t actually contain almonds.  It is just melting chocolate.

Once the balls had cooled, I tried to put them on the sticks.  Well, you can see for yourself what happened. (Fourth warning.)

So, I decided to put them in the freezer.

Then tried again.  Success!  Well, only a few casualties.  I totally thought I was on my way now.

So, I started melting some chocolate in my makeshift double boiler.

And started dipping them.  Mmmm . . . The whole house smelled like chocolate.  I loved this part!  I love licking off the drops!

They aren’t exactly beautiful looking.  A little lumpy, but I’m totally okay with this by now.

Then I melted some of the candy melts and drizzled them over the top.  Aren’t they so cute!  I totally feel like a success.  And I’m thinking right about now, “I’m going to have the coolest dessert at the dinner.”

And then the Lord decided to humble me.  Because you should never be prideful about a dish that you plan on taking to a church function.  Bringing food to church functions is about service and helping out, not about having the “coolest” or “best” dish there.  (Or so I’m told.)

I decided to eat one that had fallen off of its stick.  This doesn’t look too bad, but it was awful!  The cake was mushy.  Like cake soaked in water mushy.  I almost gagged and I did spit it out into the sink.

Failure.

Utter failure.

Mandy tried one too – it was terrible.

I almost cried.

Instead I threw out every single last cake pop I had made.

And I went and bought this . . . .

Thank you Costco for making cheesecake and rescuing me from my dessert failure.

But they sure did look pretty didn’t they.

I’m sure I’ll try again, once my ego has recovered.