Christmas Cards 101

So, last year I worked for the Post Office.  Did you know that?  Well, now you do.  I learned a lot of new, cool, and interesting things about how our mail system works.  I thought I would share all this lovely information with you.  Now, I really should have created this post earlier, but life is busy and I haven’t even mailed my Christmas Cards yet (how very un-Stepfordy of me – no seriously, I’m freaking out that I haven’t sent them yet), so I figure that there are probably other people out there like me as well.

So – here is what happens, basically, when you put your letter in the mailbox.  After the mailman picks it up and takes it back to the post office, your letter gets scanned and a very advanced writing recognition system “reads” the address on the letter.  It creates a barcode (you see them on the bottom) and off it goes.  Wow!  Pretty cool!

Well, we know that doesn’t always happen, letters are late, Christmas Cards don’t get delivered on time, and so forth.  If the fancy computers and scanners can’t figure out or recognize the address, well then, the image gets sent to a center with hundreds of computers where people like me would read the address and type it in.  Sometimes I just typed in the zip, sometimes just the city, sometimes just the house number, sometimes the whole blooming thing.  It just depended on what the computer couldn’t read.  Now, humans sometime make mistakes (Not me of coarse. I’m perfect.  I was raised in Stepford.), but some people make mistakes and sometimes if the human reading your handwriting can’t read your handwriting, well then, I think you know what happens.

So, here are some tips on how to help speed along the process.

1. Don’t use colored envelopes.  I know, I know.  They are so pretty.  But imagine a photocopy of a dark colored paper with writing on it.  That is what it looks like to the scanners and it is very hard to read.  The darker the envelope, the harder it is to read.  Black is the worst, but dark red is also pretty dang bad.
2. Don’t use envelopes with printed designs or words on them.  Again, I know, I know.  They are so pretty.  But the computer sees all sorts of words and sometimes can’t tell what is the address and what isn’t.
3. Don’t use gel or metallic pens.  Again, the scanners have a hard time reading these and, well you know.
4. Write clearly.  Yes, you may have amazing cursive, but please print.  The scanners can read that better and the people who are typing in the address can read it better as well.
5. Put your return address label on the front.  I know that it is common for people to put it on the back of envelopes, especially Christmas and Wedding envelopes, but try not to.  See, here is what happens.  If, for whatever reason, the post office needs to return your letter to you it will do the same process.  Scan the front.  Wait – front, yes the front – always the front first.  So, if it can’t find a return address it spits it out and someone has to reposition, flip over, and personally handle your letter.  That may not sound like much, but you wouldn’t believe the amount of return to sender type mail I had to handle.  So, it is just faster and easier if you put your return address on the front.
6. If you don’t know the zip code, look it up or leave it off.  Whoa!  I know what your thinking, but yes it’s true.  See, if the computer does read your zip code just fine, then it moves on and reads the house and street numbers and skips the city and state because it assumes that if you have a zip code then it is probably correct.  So imagine – if you want a letter to go to Springfield, IL to 15 Main Street.  But you put in the zip code to Mayfield, IL instead.  Ummm, most cities have the same street names and numbers, so it will go to the completely wrong city – 15 Main street in Mayfield, not Springfield.  When a letter comes in without a zip code, we look it up for you and off it goes.  To the right city.
7. When you have an envelope with a see through pocket – please stuff the envelope correctly and check to make sure the address is in the right spot.  I can’t tell you how many paychecks, insurance checks, and money in general I saw come through that way and we had to return to sender.  It just gets delayed so much and we all could use the money, especially around Christmas.

Well, that is all I can think of now.  I hope none of your Christmas Cards get returned!

PS – At the post office, Christmas time is overtime – every day.  The post office employees work so hard to help make sure that everything gets delivered on time.  They really do deserve our thanks and appreciation.  I worked so many hours last year that I threw up three times during one shift – that was when I quit.  I am a post office drop out.  Sigh!  But really, they work hard and anything we can do to help them really in turn helps us get our letters and packages to our loved ones faster.